In order to succeed, we must stay positive and truly believe that even in a tough market, great opportunities exist. We need to embrace the fact that optimism is non-negotiable in our quest for success! For some, optimism comes naturally. If you're not one of those, optimism can be learned and practiced.
Case in point...
It was early in the 2nd quarter in Monday Night's game between the Indianapolis Colts and the Miami Dolphins. The Colts were trailing and the count was 3rd and 8. Quarterback Peyton Manning calls for a no-huddle, hurry up offense and as soon as the ball is snapped, the penalty flags fly! Miami had 12 men on the field, costing them a 5 yard penalty. Now on 3rd and 3, Manning passes the ball to Reggie Wayne for a 1st down. That drive resulted in a 3 point field goal to tie the game. Manning, paying close attention to his opponents, saw confusion on Miami's sidelines, hurried the play call and caught his opponent off guard....opportunity seized!
The stats at the end of the game told an even better story. The Colts only had possession of the football for 15 of the 60 minutes played and yet, they won the game. The sideline announcer asked Manning how they won with so few scoring opportunities. Manning replied, "We believe that when we get the ball, we have to do everything we can to be effective." Bottom line, every time they saw an opportunity, they seized it!
Are you hoping or are you actively looking for a great opportunity? In order to see them, you must expect them. More importantly, you must believe you are ready to take full advantage of every opportunity that presents itself.
Is this a scary economy? An unstable marketplace? Heck yes, it is! But you have a choice. Would you prefer to keep your head down and mope about how tough things are or would you rather hold your head up high, looking for every opportunity out there?
Over the years, Peyton Manning trained himself to look for any and all opportunities. His enthusiasm and love for the game is what drives him each and every play. That brand of enthusiasm cannot co-exist with doubt, failure, greed, jealousy, procrastination, fear or hatred. It only thrives on positive thought and action.
Choose to see the opportunities...then seize them!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Plan Your Escape From The Land Of Shoulds
Escaping from the "Land of Shoulds", is a ritual, an annual rite of passage. It usually lasts 7-14 days and it is typically a summertime activity. I call it escaping, most call it vacation. During that time, strange things happen...
None of your friends or family calls or stops by the house because they know you are on vacation.
The boss does not expect you to attend the weekly staff meeting and coworkers happily cover for you. After all, you are on vacation.
Your neighbors feed your dog, pick up the mail and turn the porch light on each night. They have always taken care of things while you are on vacation.
Why call it "Escape from the Land of Shoulds"? Because it seems to be the one and only time we allow ourselves the luxury of doing exactly what we want to do without anything or anyone standing in our way. Obligations, chores, work, all of it gets put aside. It is a wonderful gift we give to ourselves.
Lately, the topic has come up with a few of my coaching clients about whether or not they should (ugh...that word again!) take a vacation. Travel is expensive and money is tight. Some fear their employers will question their commitment, others wonder if it is fair to burden their coworkers by leaving, even for a few days.
So here's the question....
What are your plans to escape, relax and recharge your battery?
If a full blown vacation isn't in the cards there are still a few things you can do to get away this summer. If you are interested, grab your calendar. Choose one week of the month and boldly label it "vacation". During that one week, follow these simple rules:
1. Do not go into the office early and do not stay late. You have plans. Remember, this is only for one week. You can do this.
2. Do not check your personal or business e-mails at night. That includes not checking your CrackBerry or MePhone either! All e-mails will be waiting for you in the morning.
3. Do not make or take any personal or business phone calls at night. You are simply not available and will happily call them tomorrow.
4. Do not work that weekend...period. No cheating on this one!
5. Extend all the invitations you want to friends and family, but do not accept any unless it is something you truly want to do. This is not the week for shoulds.
6. Do as little cooking, cleaning and laundry as humanly possible. If you do not have help cleaning your house regularly, hire someone for that week. It will be worth it, I promise!
If you commit to these few things just one week a month through the summer, you will feel the difference in your stress level. You will have more time and energy to do the things you want to do. That my friend, is what a vacation is for.
Faithfully do this for a few months and you may end up creating your own monthly ritual. Think about how great it would be to take one week every month and focus on you, your family and the fun you plan together.
http://www.cooperworldwidecoaching.com
None of your friends or family calls or stops by the house because they know you are on vacation.
The boss does not expect you to attend the weekly staff meeting and coworkers happily cover for you. After all, you are on vacation.
Your neighbors feed your dog, pick up the mail and turn the porch light on each night. They have always taken care of things while you are on vacation.
Why call it "Escape from the Land of Shoulds"? Because it seems to be the one and only time we allow ourselves the luxury of doing exactly what we want to do without anything or anyone standing in our way. Obligations, chores, work, all of it gets put aside. It is a wonderful gift we give to ourselves.
Lately, the topic has come up with a few of my coaching clients about whether or not they should (ugh...that word again!) take a vacation. Travel is expensive and money is tight. Some fear their employers will question their commitment, others wonder if it is fair to burden their coworkers by leaving, even for a few days.
So here's the question....
What are your plans to escape, relax and recharge your battery?
If a full blown vacation isn't in the cards there are still a few things you can do to get away this summer. If you are interested, grab your calendar. Choose one week of the month and boldly label it "vacation". During that one week, follow these simple rules:
1. Do not go into the office early and do not stay late. You have plans. Remember, this is only for one week. You can do this.
2. Do not check your personal or business e-mails at night. That includes not checking your CrackBerry or MePhone either! All e-mails will be waiting for you in the morning.
3. Do not make or take any personal or business phone calls at night. You are simply not available and will happily call them tomorrow.
4. Do not work that weekend...period. No cheating on this one!
5. Extend all the invitations you want to friends and family, but do not accept any unless it is something you truly want to do. This is not the week for shoulds.
6. Do as little cooking, cleaning and laundry as humanly possible. If you do not have help cleaning your house regularly, hire someone for that week. It will be worth it, I promise!
If you commit to these few things just one week a month through the summer, you will feel the difference in your stress level. You will have more time and energy to do the things you want to do. That my friend, is what a vacation is for.
Faithfully do this for a few months and you may end up creating your own monthly ritual. Think about how great it would be to take one week every month and focus on you, your family and the fun you plan together.
http://www.cooperworldwidecoaching.com
Thursday, April 30, 2009
I Nearly Missed It!
Here it is, April 30th and I was just informed that April is National Stress Awareness Month! Geez! That truly is the story of my life. I always seem to be too busy or stressed out to plug into what's going on in the world around me. Does that hold true for you too?
Our lives are full of hassles, deadlines, frustrations and demands. For many of us, stress is so commonplace that it has become a way of life. How sad is that? Especially since long term exposure to stress can really mess with your health. It can lead to heart disease, compromise our immune systems, cause sleep and digestive problems and any number of other physical ailments.
The scary part for me is that stress can actually rewire the brain leaving us more vulnerable to anxiety and depression. Heck, I'm depressed that I missed out on the other 29 days of National Stress Awareness Month!
Stress comes from both external and internal factors. The external things like work, financial issues, or relationship difficulties are something that we all struggle with and while we can control some of those things, most are out of our control.
The internal factors are the ones we can control because these are all self-generated. Things like pessimism, the inability to accept uncertainty, negative self talk and unrealistic expectations and perfectionism. Really, how are those things working for you?
Maybe finding out about National Stress Awareness Month on the last day is sort of a blessing. I only have to be aware of my stress today. Tomorrow, I can go back to my normal routine of running around with my hair on fire and knowing that it's just another day.
How comforting.
Our lives are full of hassles, deadlines, frustrations and demands. For many of us, stress is so commonplace that it has become a way of life. How sad is that? Especially since long term exposure to stress can really mess with your health. It can lead to heart disease, compromise our immune systems, cause sleep and digestive problems and any number of other physical ailments.
The scary part for me is that stress can actually rewire the brain leaving us more vulnerable to anxiety and depression. Heck, I'm depressed that I missed out on the other 29 days of National Stress Awareness Month!
Stress comes from both external and internal factors. The external things like work, financial issues, or relationship difficulties are something that we all struggle with and while we can control some of those things, most are out of our control.
The internal factors are the ones we can control because these are all self-generated. Things like pessimism, the inability to accept uncertainty, negative self talk and unrealistic expectations and perfectionism. Really, how are those things working for you?
Maybe finding out about National Stress Awareness Month on the last day is sort of a blessing. I only have to be aware of my stress today. Tomorrow, I can go back to my normal routine of running around with my hair on fire and knowing that it's just another day.
How comforting.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Know What It Takes To Make A Good Decision
Faced with important decisions, most of us seek the counsel of our family, close friends and trusted colleagues. We discuss our options and how our family, career, income and our friends might be impacted. We seem to be more comfortable when we have gathered lots of opinions before making a final decision in hopes we get "the nod" of acceptance we are looking for.
Well I hate to burst your bubble, but that’s about the worst possible way to make a good decision!
Of course you want to consider how your decision will impact your life and those closest to you. You may even feel compelled to hear their opinions, but your decision must be your own for it to be a good one. Why? Because it is your life and in order to make a good decision, it has to fit into the vision you have for your life.
Here’s an example of an all too common exchange…
YOU: “I’m thinking about moving to Anywhere, USA for a great job opportunity. It’s everything I’d ever hoped for and since I value your opinion, I thought I'd run it by you first.”
THEM: “Holy crap! You can’t do that! What will (fill in the blank) think? What about me? I would miss you so much! I thought you liked your job. I can’t imagine why you’d even think of such a thing.”
See the problem? Both of you are worried about how the decision will impact everyone else but you!
In order to make the best decision for our lives, we must have the following:
Well I hate to burst your bubble, but that’s about the worst possible way to make a good decision!
Of course you want to consider how your decision will impact your life and those closest to you. You may even feel compelled to hear their opinions, but your decision must be your own for it to be a good one. Why? Because it is your life and in order to make a good decision, it has to fit into the vision you have for your life.
Here’s an example of an all too common exchange…
YOU: “I’m thinking about moving to Anywhere, USA for a great job opportunity. It’s everything I’d ever hoped for and since I value your opinion, I thought I'd run it by you first.”
THEM: “Holy crap! You can’t do that! What will (fill in the blank) think? What about me? I would miss you so much! I thought you liked your job. I can’t imagine why you’d even think of such a thing.”
See the problem? Both of you are worried about how the decision will impact everyone else but you!
In order to make the best decision for our lives, we must have the following:
1. A strong personal foundation
2. A clear vision of the life we truly want
Once we have those two things firmly in place, we can look at each opportunity presented to us to see if it fits into our lives.
Over a period of time, a client and I used the coaching process to help her clearly define the life she wanted for her and her children. As a single mom, she wanted a new career that would afford her a solid income and the flexibility she needed to be a good parent for her two young kids. She put in the time and effort and clearly defined her personal foundation and vision. Once those were in place, she searched and found a great career opportunity that fit into her life, rather than just getting a job and then trying to squeeze a few paltry hours out of it so that she might have a life.
She called me out of the blue last week and said, “I've been offered this amazing opportunity with my company and I don’t know what to do!” After talking for a just a few minutes, it became clear to her that this great opportunity didn’t fit her personal vision. The money was good, but the opportunity didn't offer the flexibility she needed. In less than 10 minutes, her decision was made.
She said, “Wow, I can’t believe that was so easy! In the past, I would have jumped at the money and in a few months I would’ve found myself regretting the decision and feeling stuck once again just like I had done so many times over the years”.
If your life has purpose and your goals are in line with your values, success takes on a whole new meaning. Decisions are easier to make because you have a template, a blueprint to compare them to and determine the fit. When decisions are easier, life is easier. Instead of wasting precious time and energy on something that doesn’t make sense, we reserve that energy for things that really matter!
I don’t recall where I found the quote below but I have always loved it and hope you take it to heart...
Things that matter most
must never be placed at the mercy
of things that matter least
That my friend deserves an AMEN!
That my friend deserves an AMEN!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
The Power to Choose: Watch, Wonder Or Make Things Happen
Tommy Lasorda is best remembered as the colorful, charismatic manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers. Somewhere between a bite of a Dodger dog and sipping a really cold beer, he boldly stated that there were three kinds of people in the world. He said, "As I see it, there are those who watch things happen, those who wonder what happened, and those who make things happen."
When I look back at the events that have shaped my life to date, I have a few options. I can blame others, question why it happened, give credit to someone else or stand tall and call it mine. What I can't do is deny that in all my life's experiences, I am the common denominator. Yep, I was there for everything! And I am both happy and horrified to admit that some of it has been great, some not so pretty and some even downright embarrassing! Still, it's all mine to claim.
Ask yourself what you have allowed to shape your life? Is it a great career choice or an unexpected change, a painful layoff or fabulous promotion? Maybe it was a health scare or a winning lottery ticket. Are you blessed with a great spouse and kids or are you still reeling from an ugly divorce, a broken engagement or a disagreement with a now estranged family member?
The bottom line is that we have all had defining moments in our lives. If you haven't had one yet (I'm old, so I get to say this) trust me, you will. And if you're anything like me...you'll have many!
Whatever that defining moment was, maybe using the Tommy Lasorda measuring stick isn't such a bad thing. Are you ready? Look at each pivitol point in your life to date, take a big breath, dig deep and ask yourself these questions...
Did you watch it happen?
Are you wondering how it happened?
Did you make it happen?
The obvious question to follow is: What part of your life are you willing to own?
Clients hire me for different reasons. Most want more time, less stress, more money or a different career. A few have asked me to help them become a different person; to completely reinvent themselves.
As a coach...even as a garden variety human, I find the whole idea of trying to reinvent myself or anyone else exhausting! Wouldn't it be better if we would just commit to doing the work to find out what we need to be happy, healthy and whole? Once we know that, we have a much better chance of getting our needs met.
Easy? Not so much. Possible? Absolutely!
Does finding your true calling and passion take a bunch of therapy? For some, I would say maybe...for others no. What it requires is a commitment to dig deep, ask the right questions, stand tall, listen for our own response, pray, read, explore, get a mentor, hire a coach...whatever it takes...it is well worth our time and attention.
Please don't mistake this as self promotion, I have a coach too! I have finally discovered my core needs and what it takes for me to be happy. It was a big job, but it has proven to be well worth the time and effort.
It is through knowing ourselves that we become empowered, confident and willing to take an active role in determining where our life is headed. And if anyone is going to determine our life's path and passions, it should be us.
Start today. Choose Today. After all, isn't that why it's called "your life"?
All my best,
Jean-Ann
http://www.cooperworldwidecoaching.com
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
In Just 7 Minutes You Can Change How People Perceive You
Do you know how other people perceive you? Can you impact that perception, either positively or negatively? Of course you can! If you want to make a more positive impact on those around you, give me the next 7 minutes and I can help you turn the negatives into positives.
Pen and paper in hand, write down every adjective you can possibly think of to describe yourself. Yes, you need to list both good and the bad adjectives. And make sure to cover all the categories you may fit into...business owner, manager, employee, parent, sibling, child, friend, co-worker...all of it.
Read the list top to bottom. Do you have any more to add? Dig deep and write five more words to describe yourself. It's OK, I'll wait.
Now cross out the negative words, keeping only the positive.
Next, use all of those positive words and weave them into a written biographical narrative about you. Don't be shy! Nobody is watching.
Here is an example to get you started...As a dedicated member of my sales team, I am a hardworking, trustworthy employee. I strive to make valuable contributions daily, to keep my priorities straight and stay focused on my lofty and achievable goals. I am a great spouse, loving parent and the best friend anyone could ask for. People ask for my advice and opinions because they see me as a caring, objective and supportive person.
Got it?
OK, start writing! I promise nobody is looking over your shoulder. Challenge yourself to take the whole page to describe all of the positive attributes about yourself. I promise, it will only take 7 minutes.
Done? OK, now read it out loud. Yes, out loud! How does it sound? Does it sound like a person you would like to know? More importantly, does it accurately portray the person you would like people to see when they think of you?
Everything you have written is a powerful testament to what you truly believe is possible. This was written using your words, nobody else's. It is how you want people to see you. And since everyone's perception is their reality, you now have a working document to help you make that reality come true.
In order to have the confidence to show others who we truly are, we must first clearly define who we believe we are. You would not have written all of those descriptive adjectives down if you didn't think they were true.
Taking this powerful step is truly a step in the right direction. Keep digging deep to get to know yourself and daily make the commitment to being the the best you can be!
If taking another step to get to know yourself even better is of interest to you, feel free to contact me to learn more about the Print Strategies Personal Assessment Survey. I use this powerful tool in my practice to help clients learn more about what motivates them and what drives them crazy. Why some things seem easy and others difficult. It will uncover your unique set of strengths and potential weaknesses and help you understand why you gravitate towards certain things and seek to avoid others.
If you're willing to spend $99 and 45-minutes with me on the phone in a coaching session, you can put this powerful tool to work for you. Go to my web site and request a complimentary coaching session and note that you're interested in a Print Survey, or call me directly so we can talk more about it. You can find my phone number on my web site. I'm looking forward to your call.
All my best,
Jean-Ann Cooper
Business & Personal Performance Coach
http://www.cooperworldwidecoaching.com/
Pen and paper in hand, write down every adjective you can possibly think of to describe yourself. Yes, you need to list both good and the bad adjectives. And make sure to cover all the categories you may fit into...business owner, manager, employee, parent, sibling, child, friend, co-worker...all of it.
Read the list top to bottom. Do you have any more to add? Dig deep and write five more words to describe yourself. It's OK, I'll wait.
Now cross out the negative words, keeping only the positive.
Next, use all of those positive words and weave them into a written biographical narrative about you. Don't be shy! Nobody is watching.
Here is an example to get you started...As a dedicated member of my sales team, I am a hardworking, trustworthy employee. I strive to make valuable contributions daily, to keep my priorities straight and stay focused on my lofty and achievable goals. I am a great spouse, loving parent and the best friend anyone could ask for. People ask for my advice and opinions because they see me as a caring, objective and supportive person.
Got it?
OK, start writing! I promise nobody is looking over your shoulder. Challenge yourself to take the whole page to describe all of the positive attributes about yourself. I promise, it will only take 7 minutes.
Done? OK, now read it out loud. Yes, out loud! How does it sound? Does it sound like a person you would like to know? More importantly, does it accurately portray the person you would like people to see when they think of you?
Everything you have written is a powerful testament to what you truly believe is possible. This was written using your words, nobody else's. It is how you want people to see you. And since everyone's perception is their reality, you now have a working document to help you make that reality come true.
In order to have the confidence to show others who we truly are, we must first clearly define who we believe we are. You would not have written all of those descriptive adjectives down if you didn't think they were true.
Taking this powerful step is truly a step in the right direction. Keep digging deep to get to know yourself and daily make the commitment to being the the best you can be!
If taking another step to get to know yourself even better is of interest to you, feel free to contact me to learn more about the Print Strategies Personal Assessment Survey. I use this powerful tool in my practice to help clients learn more about what motivates them and what drives them crazy. Why some things seem easy and others difficult. It will uncover your unique set of strengths and potential weaknesses and help you understand why you gravitate towards certain things and seek to avoid others.
If you're willing to spend $99 and 45-minutes with me on the phone in a coaching session, you can put this powerful tool to work for you. Go to my web site and request a complimentary coaching session and note that you're interested in a Print Survey, or call me directly so we can talk more about it. You can find my phone number on my web site. I'm looking forward to your call.
All my best,
Jean-Ann Cooper
Business & Personal Performance Coach
http://www.cooperworldwidecoaching.com/
Sunday, February 8, 2009
It Changed My Life! And Why Not?
My two older brothers are as different as night and day. Very close in age, they are worlds apart. One is tall, the other isn't. One is rabidly independent, the other not so much. One deeply embedded and successful in the corporate world, the other successfully self employed. One happily married to his high school sweetheart, the other married a woman with four children, joyfully taking on the responsibilities that come with a ready made family.
The deep connection they share is their level of passion for the people and things they love. And while they do it very differently, the effects of that passion are very similar.
Michael's passion is fly fishing. This man gets down right giddy when he gets to stand waist deep in a freezing cold stream for hours on end, dressed in his goofy overalls, boots, jacket, vest, etc.. It seems crazy to me that he puts all of his lower extremities in danger all for the sake of catching a fish. Once he catches the gill flapping treasure, the keepsake photo is taken and then he tosses the trophy back into the river! What the heck is that all about?
The distinction between the two is that Patrick has many passions. Literally, this guy loves everything! Over the years, he has called me countless times all jazzed up about hiring a new salesperson, test driving a new Porsche he'd been dreaming about or finding the perfect 9-iron. Each time, he would end the sentence with "...and it has changed my life!"
Over the years, I've teased him about the fact that everything seemed to change his life. To this day, I answer the phone and say, "Let me guess, something has changed your life!" His immediate response, "Yes! How did you know?"
It wasn't until after I started my coaching practice that a silly little phrase like "it changed my life" took on a whole new meaning. What I have come to know is that many people want something, anything to change their life. They just don't give themselves permission to let that happen.
And my question is why not?
Why not let a new spouse or relationship change your life and give you a reason to leave the office at a reasonable hour instead of staying all night trying to earn bonus points?
Why not let a new car change your life and give you permission to take a road trip this weekend instead of going into the office?
Why not let your new baby change your life and allow you to focus on being a great Mom or Dad instead of being the "killer" sales executive everyone has come to rely on?
Why not let your new 9-iron change your life and instead of taking a client to lunch, you choose spend that time working on your short game?
Why not? A powerful and perplexing question. And it's not easy to answer. Most of us are not "wired" to do what is best for us. Instead, we do what we think we should do for our company, clients, bosses, friends and family, and the list goes on. Noble, but where does that leave us if all we do is take care of other people's needs?
I work with many people who push their own needs to the bottom of the pile. The end result is that they feel resentful and unappreciated because they are knocking themselves out and not doing what they need to take care of themselves by tapping into their passions.
We have all been on an airline that's getting ready to take off. The flight attendant comes on the PA system and says, "if we lose cabin pressure and the oxygen masks drop down, put your mask on first before you help anyone else". Note: they don't say, put your oxygen mask on and let everyone else die.
Heaven forbid that the only place you give yourself permission to take care of yourself is when you're buckled into a seat on an airplane! The lesson here is if we take care of ourselves, those we care about will be better for it.
Bottom line...since it doesn't come naturally, we need to challenge ourselves to allow the things we care about to change our lives for the better...even if it is only for an evening!
Now for the moment of truth. Admit it, you are already thinking of the people you love who are stressed and overworked. There you are, finger poised and ready to hit the forward button to share this simple truth. You're hoping that once they read this, maybe, just maybe they'll do a better job of taking care of themselves. Go ahead and forward because you are a great friend. And while that is a noble gesture, when is it going to be your turn?
If you aren't allowing your passion and personal happiness to fit into your life, please give this some thought. Better yet, go to my web site and contact me. In one complimentary session, I promise to help you move in a new direction. It is my gift to you. Like my whacky brothers, I am passionate and love what I do. It just might change your life...if only for a day. Why not?
It's only fitting that I end with a thank you to my stinky brothers for showing me how good life can be when I allow myself to make room in my life for the things and the people I truly love!
I love you guys and will always make room for you in my life.
The coaching process is a thought-provoking, creative process that will inspire you to maximize your personal and professional potential. If you're interested in talking to either Bob or me, you'll find an offer for a complimentary session on our web site. We'll get back to you within 24 hours to set up our time together.
Jean-Ann Cooper
Business & Personal Performance Coach
http://www.cooperworldwidecoaching.com
All coaching sessions are 100% confidential. Period.
The deep connection they share is their level of passion for the people and things they love. And while they do it very differently, the effects of that passion are very similar.
Michael's passion is fly fishing. This man gets down right giddy when he gets to stand waist deep in a freezing cold stream for hours on end, dressed in his goofy overalls, boots, jacket, vest, etc.. It seems crazy to me that he puts all of his lower extremities in danger all for the sake of catching a fish. Once he catches the gill flapping treasure, the keepsake photo is taken and then he tosses the trophy back into the river! What the heck is that all about?
The distinction between the two is that Patrick has many passions. Literally, this guy loves everything! Over the years, he has called me countless times all jazzed up about hiring a new salesperson, test driving a new Porsche he'd been dreaming about or finding the perfect 9-iron. Each time, he would end the sentence with "...and it has changed my life!"
Over the years, I've teased him about the fact that everything seemed to change his life. To this day, I answer the phone and say, "Let me guess, something has changed your life!" His immediate response, "Yes! How did you know?"
It wasn't until after I started my coaching practice that a silly little phrase like "it changed my life" took on a whole new meaning. What I have come to know is that many people want something, anything to change their life. They just don't give themselves permission to let that happen.
And my question is why not?
Why not let a new spouse or relationship change your life and give you a reason to leave the office at a reasonable hour instead of staying all night trying to earn bonus points?
Why not let a new car change your life and give you permission to take a road trip this weekend instead of going into the office?
Why not let your new baby change your life and allow you to focus on being a great Mom or Dad instead of being the "killer" sales executive everyone has come to rely on?
Why not let your new 9-iron change your life and instead of taking a client to lunch, you choose spend that time working on your short game?
Why not? A powerful and perplexing question. And it's not easy to answer. Most of us are not "wired" to do what is best for us. Instead, we do what we think we should do for our company, clients, bosses, friends and family, and the list goes on. Noble, but where does that leave us if all we do is take care of other people's needs?
I work with many people who push their own needs to the bottom of the pile. The end result is that they feel resentful and unappreciated because they are knocking themselves out and not doing what they need to take care of themselves by tapping into their passions.
We have all been on an airline that's getting ready to take off. The flight attendant comes on the PA system and says, "if we lose cabin pressure and the oxygen masks drop down, put your mask on first before you help anyone else". Note: they don't say, put your oxygen mask on and let everyone else die.
Heaven forbid that the only place you give yourself permission to take care of yourself is when you're buckled into a seat on an airplane! The lesson here is if we take care of ourselves, those we care about will be better for it.
Bottom line...since it doesn't come naturally, we need to challenge ourselves to allow the things we care about to change our lives for the better...even if it is only for an evening!
Now for the moment of truth. Admit it, you are already thinking of the people you love who are stressed and overworked. There you are, finger poised and ready to hit the forward button to share this simple truth. You're hoping that once they read this, maybe, just maybe they'll do a better job of taking care of themselves. Go ahead and forward because you are a great friend. And while that is a noble gesture, when is it going to be your turn?
If you aren't allowing your passion and personal happiness to fit into your life, please give this some thought. Better yet, go to my web site and contact me. In one complimentary session, I promise to help you move in a new direction. It is my gift to you. Like my whacky brothers, I am passionate and love what I do. It just might change your life...if only for a day. Why not?
It's only fitting that I end with a thank you to my stinky brothers for showing me how good life can be when I allow myself to make room in my life for the things and the people I truly love!
I love you guys and will always make room for you in my life.
The coaching process is a thought-provoking, creative process that will inspire you to maximize your personal and professional potential. If you're interested in talking to either Bob or me, you'll find an offer for a complimentary session on our web site. We'll get back to you within 24 hours to set up our time together.
Jean-Ann Cooper
Business & Personal Performance Coach
http://www.cooperworldwidecoaching.com
All coaching sessions are 100% confidential. Period.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Get Fired or Lead? Your Choice.
As a local sales manager for a television station, job security meant keeping the boss happy, achieving budget, taking care of clients and motivating the sales staff. In order to survive, I read all the books on "managing up" and effectively put those new skills to work. As a result, the heavens opened and I was welcomed into the inner sanctum. When we achieved goals and made budgets, I got bonuses and "atta girls" and life was wonderful...sort of.
Those were during the rocky days of mergers and acquisitions in the broadcast industry. Little did I know that in my first few years at the station, I'd be managing up to a revolving cast of characters! They included 3 different Owners and with new owners came 3 new General Managers. Each brought in their own team, which meant I got another new boss. As the Local Sales Manager, my only peer on the sales team was the National Sales Manager. During those few short years, I worked with 7 different NSMs! I was beginning to wonder if they tasted like chicken!
Managing up was exhausting and it became a challenge to look at myself in the mirror with any level of self respect. I had sold out. I'd done and said things that I didn't believe all in the name of self promotion and survival. And while I was one of the fortunate few to survive all the changes, it didn't feel good.
When the 3rd regime checked in, I decided to check out of the managing up program. After all, where had that gotten me? Instead, I decided to commit myself to the group of people who were the most important people to me, day in and day out...my young, talented, stressed and overworked sales staff.
The problem was, I'd spent so much time focused on the higher ups, I didn't really know them. Coming face to face with that embarrassing reality is what made me redefine my job description and with that decision, my career changed.
I spent more time with each of my salespeople to learn about their families, where they grew up, how they were raised and most importantly, what their passion was outside the office. I found I had an avid (actually rabid) golfer, a few antique buffs, new moms needing flexibility in their schedules.
After a few months, they came to trust me enough to admit that the grind of the job was causing them to miss out on things that were important to them. It was then that I made a commitment to do all I could to allow them the time to connect with their passion as often as possible. Once I did that, the flood gates of success opened wide!
For example, on many Fridays, J.D. signed out for an afternoon appointment....with his 4-some. When I could sense Cindy was having a tough day, she took an extra long lunch hour to leisurely stroll through local antique shops. Andrews wanted to visit his Mom several times after his Dad passed. Rather than use precious vacation time, I would jot on my calendar that next Friday, "Andrews - calling in sick". That one still makes me giggle when I think about it. When Karen asked if I would help her get upper management to approve flex hours so she and her husband could balance work with family responsibilities, I said, "Heck no! If we ask, they may say no. I'd prefer to beg for forgiveness if anyone finds out."
OK I know, you're reeling back in your chair and asking yourself, "Why in the world would she do that? She's just asking to get fired." And you're right. Had my higher ups known, I may have been fired, but it was worth the risk. We had been squeaking by and meeting our sales goals now and then, but at best it was spotty. I thought, "What the heck, if my boss is going to fire me, I might as well go down in flames with happy salespeople around me!"
And for those of you still rolling your eyes, I need to point out that allowances came with two caveats; # 1 that our agreement was between the two of us was not to be disclosed or discussed with any other staff member. # 2, if I ever felt the opportunities given to them were taken for granted, they would come to a screeching halt. Period.
For the first time in management career, I believed I was taking care of the real needs of the television station; the people responsible for generating more than $100 million in annual revenue. And believe me, in a competitive environment faced with daily changes in programming and ratings, they were without question our most stable and valuable resource.
The bottom line was that my new management style was paying big dividends both personally and professionally and they developed into a kick ass sales staff! Yes, I had put my job on the line but the result was unbelievably incredible.
Those were during the rocky days of mergers and acquisitions in the broadcast industry. Little did I know that in my first few years at the station, I'd be managing up to a revolving cast of characters! They included 3 different Owners and with new owners came 3 new General Managers. Each brought in their own team, which meant I got another new boss. As the Local Sales Manager, my only peer on the sales team was the National Sales Manager. During those few short years, I worked with 7 different NSMs! I was beginning to wonder if they tasted like chicken!
Managing up was exhausting and it became a challenge to look at myself in the mirror with any level of self respect. I had sold out. I'd done and said things that I didn't believe all in the name of self promotion and survival. And while I was one of the fortunate few to survive all the changes, it didn't feel good.
When the 3rd regime checked in, I decided to check out of the managing up program. After all, where had that gotten me? Instead, I decided to commit myself to the group of people who were the most important people to me, day in and day out...my young, talented, stressed and overworked sales staff.
The problem was, I'd spent so much time focused on the higher ups, I didn't really know them. Coming face to face with that embarrassing reality is what made me redefine my job description and with that decision, my career changed.
I spent more time with each of my salespeople to learn about their families, where they grew up, how they were raised and most importantly, what their passion was outside the office. I found I had an avid (actually rabid) golfer, a few antique buffs, new moms needing flexibility in their schedules.
After a few months, they came to trust me enough to admit that the grind of the job was causing them to miss out on things that were important to them. It was then that I made a commitment to do all I could to allow them the time to connect with their passion as often as possible. Once I did that, the flood gates of success opened wide!
For example, on many Fridays, J.D. signed out for an afternoon appointment....with his 4-some. When I could sense Cindy was having a tough day, she took an extra long lunch hour to leisurely stroll through local antique shops. Andrews wanted to visit his Mom several times after his Dad passed. Rather than use precious vacation time, I would jot on my calendar that next Friday, "Andrews - calling in sick". That one still makes me giggle when I think about it. When Karen asked if I would help her get upper management to approve flex hours so she and her husband could balance work with family responsibilities, I said, "Heck no! If we ask, they may say no. I'd prefer to beg for forgiveness if anyone finds out."
OK I know, you're reeling back in your chair and asking yourself, "Why in the world would she do that? She's just asking to get fired." And you're right. Had my higher ups known, I may have been fired, but it was worth the risk. We had been squeaking by and meeting our sales goals now and then, but at best it was spotty. I thought, "What the heck, if my boss is going to fire me, I might as well go down in flames with happy salespeople around me!"
And for those of you still rolling your eyes, I need to point out that allowances came with two caveats; # 1 that our agreement was between the two of us was not to be disclosed or discussed with any other staff member. # 2, if I ever felt the opportunities given to them were taken for granted, they would come to a screeching halt. Period.
For the first time in management career, I believed I was taking care of the real needs of the television station; the people responsible for generating more than $100 million in annual revenue. And believe me, in a competitive environment faced with daily changes in programming and ratings, they were without question our most stable and valuable resource.
The bottom line was that my new management style was paying big dividends both personally and professionally and they developed into a kick ass sales staff! Yes, I had put my job on the line but the result was unbelievably incredible.
It wasn't a magical formula. It just came down to taking care of people. Paying attention to what mattered to them. And developing a mutual level of trust that was invaluable. Here are the three things I committed to do differently and my reasoning behind each...
# 1 Trust them. You must trust your salesperson before they'll begin to trust you. If they don't trust you, they won't show you who they really are. You won't know what really motivates them and you'll never be completely effective in managing that person.
# 2 Learn from them. Your sales people will know you value them when you ask for their opinion and advice. As sales managers we don't have all the answers, so why not go to the source? The ones who are in the trenches are the folks to rely on for the best information...again, they must trust you to do this.
# 3 Acknowledge and thank them. Openly and often. I can't impress upon you enough how critically important it is to thank your staff for their contribution to the common goal. And, don't make the mistake of just thanking those who had a huge success that day. Sometimes it is the ones that didn't have a great day that need to be thanked. Thanked for their sincere effort, even if the results aren't readily evident.
The last 3 years as their sales manager were the best years of my career. We never missed a another revenue goal...monthly, quarterly or annually! In fact as a team, we achieved our common goal to make our annual budget 3 months early for each of those last 3 years!
After that 3rd amazing year, I left the station. No I didn't get fired, instead I like to think of it as retiring at the top of my game. I had achieved a level of success and professional satisfaction that I had always hoped for. I wasn't the world's best sales manager, but I had developed into a pretty good one and that was good enough for me.
When I think back about how I managed vs. how other successful sales managers did, it made me think. Since my management style was full of secrets bonds and promises, how would we ever know that they didn't do the same thing I did? Kind of funny to think about that now. All I know is that I tried to manage the person. The whole person. Not just the one who showed up from 8 to 5.
As for the higher ups? I'm happy to report that once my new style resulted in consistently strong revenue for the station and limited turnover, the heavens opened up and I was welcomed once again into the inner sanctum. Only this time, I was invited to join them for all the right reasons.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
The Hidden Dangers of Being Inconsistent
While my husband Bob and I were visiting his Mom earlier this week, she asked him to change a light bulb. She said, "That one silly bulb always seems to burn out faster than the others." He immediately responded, "Well, if it can't keep up with the others, fire it!" We chuckled, checked the package and right there in bold letters, the proclamation...this was "a longer life bulb"!
That little promise of above average performance got me thinking. Not about light bulbs and why they burn out before they should but about broken promises and how disappointed we get when something or someone falls short of our expectations.
The truth is that we are all held accountable by the people in our lives to consistently perform given tasks. It may be making a sale, picking up the kids from school, attending a board meeting or writing a monthly report. If we are perceived as inconsistent in delivering the goods, the results can be disastrous...maybe even ending the relationship.
We want people to know they can count on us to be a trusted friend, good neighbor and a top performing employee. We strive to be consistently attentive to our spouse, children and family members and we want our clients and customers to think of us as a valued vendor.
Ask yourself this question, on a scale of 1 to 10, how consistent am I in my relationships? Do I live up to other's expectations? Do I live up to my own expectations? Am I considered a "go to" person when the chips are down? If not, why not?
When it comes to budget and job cutting in Corporate America, it goes something like this...
The boss calls the manager and blurts, "Cut expenses and staff by 20% and do it by the end of the month." Once charged with the ugly task, precious little time is spent considering any staff member's personal needs or challenges before the cuts are made. Effective managers have an easier time making those difficult decisions because they know their staff. They have already identified those who have a proven track record of giving a 110% effort on a regular basis and those who continually lag behind. In today's squirrelly economy, it is imperative to be recognized as a consistent and valuable contributor to your company's success.
Ray Kroc, wanted his hamburgers to taste the same at every McDonald's across the country and now the world. The Big Mac tastes the same in Steamboat Springs as it does in Stockholm. Why was that so important? Because Mr. Kroc knew that McDonald's customers would value that and reward his company by returning again and again. McDonald's isn't the most successful franchise in the world because the Big Mac is the best burger...it's because we value how consistent and predictable the food is. In fact, we value it so much there's even a Big Mac Museum in North Huntingdon, PA!
What's the lesson here? We value things and people we can truly count on. We appreciate knowing that a person isn't going to disappoint us. We put a great deal of stock in that and so do the struggling companies of today.
If you know my husband and coaching partner Bob, the one word that comes to mind is consistent. He is always on time, very dependable, hilariously funny, supportive, helpful and is never in a bad mood. As a habitually tardy and moody cranky pants, it's almost annoying! He is exactly the same guy every day, morning to evening, day in and day out. He is my "go to" guy and he'll never hear "you're fired!" from me. Instead I pray to can model his behavior, be recognized as a value in other's lives and do all I can to be a better spouse, step-mom, friend, and coach.
We can all take it to the bank that being known as a consistent and valuable contributor will pay big dividends in every relationship and in every corner of our world!
Jean-Ann Cooper
Business & Personal Coach
http://www.cooperworldwidecoaching.com
That little promise of above average performance got me thinking. Not about light bulbs and why they burn out before they should but about broken promises and how disappointed we get when something or someone falls short of our expectations.
The truth is that we are all held accountable by the people in our lives to consistently perform given tasks. It may be making a sale, picking up the kids from school, attending a board meeting or writing a monthly report. If we are perceived as inconsistent in delivering the goods, the results can be disastrous...maybe even ending the relationship.
We want people to know they can count on us to be a trusted friend, good neighbor and a top performing employee. We strive to be consistently attentive to our spouse, children and family members and we want our clients and customers to think of us as a valued vendor.
Ask yourself this question, on a scale of 1 to 10, how consistent am I in my relationships? Do I live up to other's expectations? Do I live up to my own expectations? Am I considered a "go to" person when the chips are down? If not, why not?
When it comes to budget and job cutting in Corporate America, it goes something like this...
The boss calls the manager and blurts, "Cut expenses and staff by 20% and do it by the end of the month." Once charged with the ugly task, precious little time is spent considering any staff member's personal needs or challenges before the cuts are made. Effective managers have an easier time making those difficult decisions because they know their staff. They have already identified those who have a proven track record of giving a 110% effort on a regular basis and those who continually lag behind. In today's squirrelly economy, it is imperative to be recognized as a consistent and valuable contributor to your company's success.
Ray Kroc, wanted his hamburgers to taste the same at every McDonald's across the country and now the world. The Big Mac tastes the same in Steamboat Springs as it does in Stockholm. Why was that so important? Because Mr. Kroc knew that McDonald's customers would value that and reward his company by returning again and again. McDonald's isn't the most successful franchise in the world because the Big Mac is the best burger...it's because we value how consistent and predictable the food is. In fact, we value it so much there's even a Big Mac Museum in North Huntingdon, PA!
What's the lesson here? We value things and people we can truly count on. We appreciate knowing that a person isn't going to disappoint us. We put a great deal of stock in that and so do the struggling companies of today.
If you know my husband and coaching partner Bob, the one word that comes to mind is consistent. He is always on time, very dependable, hilariously funny, supportive, helpful and is never in a bad mood. As a habitually tardy and moody cranky pants, it's almost annoying! He is exactly the same guy every day, morning to evening, day in and day out. He is my "go to" guy and he'll never hear "you're fired!" from me. Instead I pray to can model his behavior, be recognized as a value in other's lives and do all I can to be a better spouse, step-mom, friend, and coach.
We can all take it to the bank that being known as a consistent and valuable contributor will pay big dividends in every relationship and in every corner of our world!
Jean-Ann Cooper
Business & Personal Coach
http://www.cooperworldwidecoaching.com
Monday, January 5, 2009
2008: Lessons Learned
Learning new things can be fun and challenging, like learning to play golf or how to use that new "smart phone" you got for Christmas. Learning can also be painful, like learning to be single again or adjusting your lifestyle to live on less money because of a layoff or downturn in business.
If you're reading this, it's obvious that we've both survived the learning curves 2008 presented us, so now what? Whether that curve was easy or steep, painful or fun, not applying what we've learned seems like a goofy decision!
So ask yourself these questions...
What did 2008 teach me about my product or service?
Did my customer's or client's needs change?
Were there drastic changes in my industry?
Were there changes in my financial status?
What adjustments am I willing to make in 2009 that will effect me, my family and my business?
Sometimes when it seems there are too many issues or areas of concern, we don't even know where to start. So what happens? We don't start at all! Now really...where is that going to leave us? Indecision will no doubt leave us in the dust behind our competition or worse yet, we may find ourselves in bankruptcy court. In today's changing world, if we want to thrive instead of survive, then doing nothing is not an option.
Grab and tablet of paper and pen an try this quick exercise to make the process of applying those lessons easier and more effective...
1. List a few things you learned in 2008 in the key areas of your life like career, money, health, family, relationships, etc.
2. In each key area, determine the single greastest challenge you'll face in 2009 and write a short paragraph about that challenge and how 2008 taught you to tackle it.
3. In each key area, determine the single greatest opportunity available to you in 2009 and again, write a short paragraph about the opportunity and what you've learned about how you need to sieze that opportunity.
For example, in the area of finances you may challenge yourself to cut back the daily Starbuck's visit to twice a week so you can take your kids to Six Flags more often this summer. In health, it might be to exercise more or eat differently because your cholesterol needs your attention. In career, you may have felt the sting of the competition in 2008, so this year you're committed to find a creative way and set yourself apart from the competition while maintaining your pricing standards.
Point being, if you commit to take just one action step that will have a measureable and positive impact in each area of your life, what will that look and feel like?
Keep in mind the characteristics of a great action step are:
- the action step is well defined.
- the commitment to do the step has been made.
- the date to begin the action step has been determined.
- the completion date has been firmly committed to.
Please know that I'm writing this for both of us! I have learned a great deal in 2008 and am committed to making those lessons pay off big!!
Best of luck to you as you go through the same process!
Jean-Ann Cooper, Personal & Business coach
Cooper Worldwide Coaching
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Are We Looking Back or Moving Forward?
Now that's a loaded question!
When I look back, my first thought is "Wow, what a ride"! 2008 was a year of highs and lows. I've had the pleasure of building a successful coaching practice with my husband Bob and have the bumps and bruises to show for it. I've enjoyed wonderful successes sprinkled with a few failures. Like many others, I've faced financial challenges and have had to make difficult decisions as a result. I have cherished happy times with friends and family and sadly remember my sweet Mom, Father-in-Law and a few friends who are no longer with me. And when looking back, it would be a sin of omission if I didn't fess up that I consumed way too many calories in 2008!
Looking foward I see numerous opportunities, exciting challenges, new things to learn, new relationships and countless adventures! And God willing, a winning lottery ticket!
So, which will you choose?
I don't believe in New Year's resolutions...never have. Probably because I've yet to make one and keep it. Instead, I believe in planning ahead instead of resolving to undo what's been done in the past.
In order to plan ahead, we have no choice but to look back and reflect on the year but I'm careful to only look back to assess where I was to help me determine where I'm headed. A smart guy named Tony Stoltzfus came up with a great way to look ahead and I'm happy to report that I've used it successfully.
If you'd like to give it a try, grab a piece of paper and pen and take a few moments and invest a little time and effort to make 2009 what you want it to be.
First, let's look at the 8 key areas of our lives and rank each area on a scale of 1 to 10.
Work: your career, business, industry
Money: income, investments, retirement
Living environment: home, office, car, etc.
Personal growth: what do you want to do or learn to improve yourself
Health & recreation: how do you plan to take care and entertain yourself
Community: friends, community involvement, social life
Family: married/single life, children, parents, etc.
God: your spiritual life
Do you see some areas you might want to key in on in 2009? Good! Once you've assessed where you've been, you can look forward and devise a "plan" for how you'll intend to tackle each of these areas.
Next, challenge yourself and make a list that includes the following:
5 key goals you want to achieve in 2009
5 people you want to get closer to
5 new skills you want to learn
5 problems you want to resolve
5 fabulous adventures you want to experience
5 things you want to let go of
If you'll take the time to invest in "YOU" for just 30 minutes, you can create an incredible plan for the coming year. Are you willing? I am!
As we look back, assess, smile and/or shed a tear, let's not forget to look forward with childlike curiousity and excitement!!
Plan for tomorrow to be fabulous!!!!!
Until next post, I'll leave you with this great little poem by Robert Louis Stevenson...
Have a Happy & Safe New Year and Plan an Amazing 2009!
Jean-Ann Cooper, Business & Personal Coach
Cooper Worldwide Coaching
http://www.cooperworldwidecoaching.com/
P.S. I love my toys too!
When I look back, my first thought is "Wow, what a ride"! 2008 was a year of highs and lows. I've had the pleasure of building a successful coaching practice with my husband Bob and have the bumps and bruises to show for it. I've enjoyed wonderful successes sprinkled with a few failures. Like many others, I've faced financial challenges and have had to make difficult decisions as a result. I have cherished happy times with friends and family and sadly remember my sweet Mom, Father-in-Law and a few friends who are no longer with me. And when looking back, it would be a sin of omission if I didn't fess up that I consumed way too many calories in 2008!
Looking foward I see numerous opportunities, exciting challenges, new things to learn, new relationships and countless adventures! And God willing, a winning lottery ticket!
So, which will you choose?
I don't believe in New Year's resolutions...never have. Probably because I've yet to make one and keep it. Instead, I believe in planning ahead instead of resolving to undo what's been done in the past.
In order to plan ahead, we have no choice but to look back and reflect on the year but I'm careful to only look back to assess where I was to help me determine where I'm headed. A smart guy named Tony Stoltzfus came up with a great way to look ahead and I'm happy to report that I've used it successfully.
If you'd like to give it a try, grab a piece of paper and pen and take a few moments and invest a little time and effort to make 2009 what you want it to be.
First, let's look at the 8 key areas of our lives and rank each area on a scale of 1 to 10.
Work: your career, business, industry
Money: income, investments, retirement
Living environment: home, office, car, etc.
Personal growth: what do you want to do or learn to improve yourself
Health & recreation: how do you plan to take care and entertain yourself
Community: friends, community involvement, social life
Family: married/single life, children, parents, etc.
God: your spiritual life
Do you see some areas you might want to key in on in 2009? Good! Once you've assessed where you've been, you can look forward and devise a "plan" for how you'll intend to tackle each of these areas.
Next, challenge yourself and make a list that includes the following:
5 key goals you want to achieve in 2009
5 people you want to get closer to
5 new skills you want to learn
5 problems you want to resolve
5 fabulous adventures you want to experience
5 things you want to let go of
If you'll take the time to invest in "YOU" for just 30 minutes, you can create an incredible plan for the coming year. Are you willing? I am!
As we look back, assess, smile and/or shed a tear, let's not forget to look forward with childlike curiousity and excitement!!
Plan for tomorrow to be fabulous!!!!!
Until next post, I'll leave you with this great little poem by Robert Louis Stevenson...
"Looking Forward"
When I am grown to man's estate
I shall be very proud and great,
And tell the other girls and boys
Not to meddle with my toys.
Have a Happy & Safe New Year and Plan an Amazing 2009!
Jean-Ann Cooper, Business & Personal Coach
Cooper Worldwide Coaching
http://www.cooperworldwidecoaching.com/
P.S. I love my toys too!
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