Balancing Work and Life

Before establishing my coaching practice, I was blessed with a long and successful career in the broadcasting business. Today I work with professionals from many walks of life and with few exceptions, they want to achieve a better balance between their personal and professional lives. Balance became such a hot topic; it drove me to learn more about how I might support my clients more effectively.

What I've come to believe is that most of us are either driven by our goals for the future or pulled down by the troubles of our past rather than being inspired by the opportunities we have in the present. For example, when focused on the future, a specific goal or desired outcome, we are like a laser beam. We are so dialed into achieving the end result that we overlook the opportunities that are right under our noses. We work ourselves into a frenzy and expect our families and friends understand because we are driven and hard-wired to succeed. But at what cost to us and our personal lives?

When people would ask what I did for a living, my standard answer was that I was a high wire act in a competitive arena. Sort of a kooky answer, but it was true! Like many industries, the television business was viciously competitive and the analogy of a high-wire act seemed appropriate.

The formal name for a high-wire artist is a funambulist. Isn't that a hoot? Funambulists maintain their balance by carrying a balancing pole that may be as long as 39 feet and weigh up to 31 pounds. These high-wire artists use flexible, drooping poles, rather than rigid ones. They stay balanced by holding onto the middle of the pole. If their focus is anywhere but in the middle of the pole, they would surely lose their balance and fall to their death.

Humor me for a moment and visualize us as funambulists walking a tight rope called life. On one end of the 39 foot pole is our future, the other end our past. Our pole is flexible and forgiving and allows us to make appropriate adjustments in order to maintain our balance. If we focus on the middle of the pole, which is our present, we stay balanced and will ultimately achieve our goal of getting to our desired destination. If we focus too much on either our past or our future, we will suffer the consequences. It may result in an unhappy spouse or our kids getting into trouble because we weren't there when they needed our help or guidance. It may be that friends stop calling because we're always working and never available, so why should they bother?

I'm not suggesting giving up your life's goals. They are critically important to set and achieve. What I suggest is softening our grip on our past as well as our future and allowing ourselves to over respond to the present by drinking in the day and all that comes with it. If we do that, we will achieve a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Let's ask ourselves what we can do today to achieve more balance in our work and our life. How about leaving the office on time? Maybe we could stop to pick up a card or flowers for someone special on the way home. How about helping the kids with their homework or making good on the promise to attend that soccer game? Whatever it is, today is the day to start.

Let's both grab the pole in the middle and start walking!

One Powerful Word: Your Guide For 2010

Now that we are well into the New Year, let's take a look at your list and see how many of those New Year's resolutions are working for you.

Bummer.

It is not that we don't want to lose weight or go to the gym, we do! We want to read more, spend quality time with our spouse and children. And we have a burning desire to be punctual and keep our office neat and tidy. So why is it that, even with a strong commitment and best intentions, our resolutions get tossed out the window by mid-January? Maybe we should resolve never to make resolutions!

The best example of someone who doesn't bother to make resolutions is my friend Anne. She is an accomplished artist. She is very visual and chooses to view life and all it has to offer through amazing eyes. Needless to say, Anne does not live by a list of shoulds and should nots.

Rather than write a list of resolutions, Anne picks a word for the year. One word. That word is the filter she uses to help her make decisions and determine her direction in the coming year. The idea of choosing a word sounded like a lot more fun than making a list of stuff that I hoped for but probably wouldn't do!

I'm happy to report that this is the fourth year I have chosen a word to help me navigate the coming year. I love my word. I chose it. I own it. It is my word for my day, my week and my life in 2010. It will serve as a guide for my decisions, thoughts, words and actions.

Anne's idea of choosing a word for the year has had such an impact on my life that I have started doing the same with my coaching clients. Last year, a client was dealing with drastic, unwelcomed and painful changes. The two words she chose were intended to help her view the changes with eager anticipation rather than dread. She chose the words EXPLORE and DISCOVER. Those two powerful words helped her get through 2009 with flying colors. This year, she has chosen HOPE. I have no doubt her word will serve her well.

So what word or words would you choose for the coming year? Take a few days to think it through. After all, it's got to be a pretty powerful word to carry you through an entire year! Visualize who, what and where you want to be at the end of this year then choose the word or words best suited to guide you toward that vision.

As an illustration, let me offer a few examples of words I might suggest for others to guide them through 2010...

• Tiger Woods - Monogamy
• Conan O'Brien - Perseverance
• Barack Obama - Really Change
• Bill O'Reilly - Humility
• Simon Cowell - Courtesy

It is my hope and prayer that all of you reading this will choose a word that will serve as your guide to help you achieve your ultimate goal this year!

All the best in 2010!

Jean-Ann Cooper