I Nearly Missed It!

Here it is, April 30th and I was just informed that April is National Stress Awareness Month! Geez! That truly is the story of my life. I always seem to be too busy or stressed out to plug into what's going on in the world around me. Does that hold true for you too?

Our lives are full of hassles, deadlines, frustrations and demands. For many of us, stress is so commonplace that it has become a way of life. How sad is that? Especially since long term exposure to stress can really mess with your health. It can lead to heart disease, compromise our immune systems, cause sleep and digestive problems and any number of other physical ailments.

The scary part for me is that stress can actually rewire the brain leaving us more vulnerable to anxiety and depression. Heck, I'm depressed that I missed out on the other 29 days of National Stress Awareness Month!

Stress comes from both external and internal factors. The external things like work, financial issues, or relationship difficulties are something that we all struggle with and while we can control some of those things, most are out of our control.

The internal factors are the ones we can control because these are all self-generated. Things like pessimism, the inability to accept uncertainty, negative self talk and unrealistic expectations and perfectionism. Really, how are those things working for you?

Maybe finding out about National Stress Awareness Month on the last day is sort of a blessing. I only have to be aware of my stress today. Tomorrow, I can go back to my normal routine of running around with my hair on fire and knowing that it's just another day.

How comforting.

Know What It Takes To Make A Good Decision

Faced with important decisions, most of us seek the counsel of our family, close friends and trusted colleagues. We discuss our options and how our family, career, income and our friends might be impacted. We seem to be more comfortable when we have gathered lots of opinions before making a final decision in hopes we get "the nod" of acceptance we are looking for.

Well I hate to burst your bubble, but that’s about the worst possible way to make a good decision!

Of course you want to consider how your decision will impact your life and those closest to you. You may even feel compelled to hear their opinions, but your decision must be your own for it to be a good one. Why? Because it is your life and in order to make a good decision, it has to fit into the vision you have for your life.

Here’s an example of an all too common exchange…

YOU: “I’m thinking about moving to Anywhere, USA for a great job opportunity. It’s everything I’d ever hoped for and since I value your opinion, I thought I'd run it by you first.”

THEM: “Holy crap! You can’t do that! What will (fill in the blank) think? What about me? I would miss you so much! I thought you liked your job. I can’t imagine why you’d even think of such a thing.”

See the problem? Both of you are worried about how the decision will impact everyone else but you!

In order to make the best decision for our lives, we must have the following:

1. A strong personal foundation

2. A clear vision of the life we truly want

Once we have those two things firmly in place, we can look at each opportunity presented to us to see if it fits into our lives.

Over a period of time, a client and I used the coaching process to help her clearly define the life she wanted for her and her children. As a single mom, she wanted a new career that would afford her a solid income and the flexibility she needed to be a good parent for her two young kids. She put in the time and effort and clearly defined her personal foundation and vision. Once those were in place, she searched and found a great career opportunity that fit into her life, rather than just getting a job and then trying to squeeze a few paltry hours out of it so that she might have a life.

She called me out of the blue last week and said, “I've been offered this amazing opportunity with my company and I don’t know what to do!” After talking for a just a few minutes, it became clear to her that this great opportunity didn’t fit her personal vision. The money was good, but the opportunity didn't offer the flexibility she needed. In less than 10 minutes, her decision was made.

She said, “Wow, I can’t believe that was so easy! In the past, I would have jumped at the money and in a few months I would’ve found myself regretting the decision and feeling stuck once again just like I had done so many times over the years”.

If your life has purpose and your goals are in line with your values, success takes on a whole new meaning. Decisions are easier to make because you have a template, a blueprint to compare them to and determine the fit. When decisions are easier, life is easier. Instead of wasting precious time and energy on something that doesn’t make sense, we reserve that energy for things that really matter!

I don’t recall where I found the quote below but I have always loved it and hope you take it to heart...

Things that matter most

must never be placed at the mercy

of things that matter least

That my friend deserves an AMEN!